... finding nothing in ourselves that is a source of hope, we know
there is nothing in ourselves worth defending. There is nothing special in ourselves
to love. We go out of ourselves therefore and rest in Him in Whom alone is our hope.
(p. 52)
What does it mean to know and experience my own nothingness?
It is not enough to turn away in disgust from my illusions and faults and mistakes, to separate myself from them as if they were not, and as if I were someone other than myself. This kind of self-annihilation is only a worse illusion, it it a pretended humility which, by saying I am nothing I mean in effect I wish I were not what I am.
... To really know our nothingness we must also love it. And we cannot love it unless we see that it is good. And we cannot see that it is good unless we accept it...
To love our nothingness in this way, we must repudiate nothing that is our own, nothing that we have, nothing that we are. We must see and admit that it is all ours and that it is all good: good in its positive entity since it comes from God: good in our deficiency, since our helplessness, even our moral misery, our spiritual, attracts to us the mercy of God.
The proud man loves his own illusion and self-sufficiency.
The spiritually poor man loves his very insufficiency.
The proud man claims honor for having what no one else has.
The humble man begs for a share in what everybody else has received.
He too desires to be filled to overflowing with the kindness and mercy of God.
(pp. 38-40)
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